Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none...

Well, it's been ages since I was on here and I thought I should make a come-back of sorts. This past year(I think I've been missing from LJ for most of it) I've been engaged in school activities so much that I almost forgot about this place. There's been dinners to arrange, pubs to work at, games to play and many new friends to make. I have had a blast getting to know new people while learning how to organize dinners for anything between 40 and 150 people and standing behind a bar serving beer and other alcoholic beverages. Now, however, I think it's time I tried to get back on here to test my writing skills once again(let's hope inspiration strikes soon).

I'd like to start my come-back by making a short list of films I think everyone should see at least once in their life. Films that make a difference, or at least they made a difference for me when I first saw them.

-La Vita E Bella
A beautiful, but terrible italian film about a Jewish mans love for his family during the second world war. In a Nazi death camp he does everything in his power to keep the terrible truth about the place from his son who miraculously avoided getting killed with the other children too small to work. By tricking his son into thinking it is all a game where you can collect points and that if you collect enough you win a big price he manages to again and again put a smile on his starving son's face. Personally I think it should be watched in italian with subtitles, but that's all up to the viewer I suppose.

-Boys Don't Cry
Another beautiful and terrible film about being yourself through thick and thin. It shows how awful the consequenses of prejudice can truly be and has quite a few horrible scenes in it. It shows the life of a young transgendered boy (biologically born a girl) who just moved to a small town in Nebraska. He is the popular new guy until his new friends discover the secret about his biological gender and all hell breaks loose.

-Freedom Writers
It is simply inspirational from beginning to end. It's shows you that nomatter who you are, it's up to you to change your life for the better. A young new teacher inspires her students to reach out to other people and to help each other make changes in their lives that revolves around gang-rivalry and violence.

-2:37pm
A third quite awful film about suicide. It begins with the suicide. Then you get to follow six students at an Australian high school throughout the day leading up to the suicude and at the same time you get to hear them tell the stories of their lives. At the end I'm certain that you will not be able to guess which one of them was the student that killed themselves. Each and every one of the six students have problems that they can't handle on their own and that they won't let anyone else help them with.


I guess that's it for now. Lets hopa that I don't drift away from here for such a long period of time again. =)

It's been a while since did one of these, but I just couldn't not write about this one. I have several pairings that I like. (almost)Every single one of them is slash(or femslash of course) so I think that the pairing I pick as the one I would most like to see has to be slash as well.

I'm going to go with a pairing that I have yet to try my hand out at writing about, Morgan/Reid (Criminal Minds). I have written fanfics of my own to most of my favourite pairings, but this one has yet to be written. I have a ton of ideas though. Who wouldn't with all the great Morgan/Reid scenes the writers of the series has been giving us. They have such an adorable and funny friendship that I would just love to see them take it further. I think those two could help each other get past a lot of childhood traumas and perhaps even heal some of the scars.

As for other pairings I would love to have seen there's:
Draco/Harry(do I really need to tell you where these two are from?) - The fighting is obviously a cover up for the attraction!
Rory/Paris(gilmore girls) - Come on, there's way to few stories about these two out there.
Haley/Brooke(one tree hill) - It would be so hot if those two got together, not to mention adorable. ; )
And more that I can't think of right now... of course then there's the pairings which are not fictional characters, but I'm not gonna list them here. =)

I'm going to add a little request here and hope for an answer. I always forget what OTP stands for so I would love to get an explanation for it and hopefully I'll remember this time. lol

A Saturday, not too long ago, I wanted to see a film. I went down to the video shop to rent one and ended up with a film I'd never heard of until that moment. It seemed to have the possibility of being an ok film, probably a bit teeny. That's what I thought when I brought it home, but my opinion changed quickly. Out of all the films I've seen this is probably the one that affected me the most. It grabbed me and pulled me into this web of darkness only to spit out the remains an hour and a half later.

It was an Australian film called 2:37 pm.

The film starts out with a girl finding the door to a school toilet locked. She, and later a teacher, knocks and calls out for the person inside to open the door. As the girl goes to find the janitor the teacher continues to pound on the door and as he looks down he sees a trail of blood starting to leak out form under the toilet door...
After that the film transports you back to the morning of the very same day. Once you're there you get to follow the lives of six students at the school thoughout the day. In between the interactions between them and their peers you are allowed to see each of the six persons talk about their lives and what they want to do when they graduate. As the film goes on tiny pieces of a big puzzle is revealed and soon you come to realize that each and every one of these kids could be the person lying dead in the bathroom at 2:37 pm...

This film is, even though it might sound like it, not your average teen film. It may take place in a high school and protray the lives of six teenagers, but it is a horrible and disturbing film. Even though there are a lot of big problems put into one small group of students it never seems exaggerated. I personally relate to the person who ends up dead in the toilet, even if I'm not suicidal I can relate to their pain and the cause of that pain, but I'm sure there are people who can relate to every single one of the other characters in this film. They all exist after all. Not just their problems, but their personalities and their way of coping with their problems.

So the bottom line is: If you haven't seen this film, you should.

1. Bold the ones you've seen.
2. Italicize the ones you've seen part of.
3. Underline the ones you own.
4. "*" (asterisk) the ones you liked.
5. Add three of your own.




01. Trainspotting
02. Shrek*
03. M
04. Dogma*
05. Strictly Ballroom
06. The Princess Diaries
07. Love, Actually*
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings*
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers*
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*
11. Reservoir Dogs
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean*
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Shaun of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. The Good German
26. Baseketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Safety of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo *
34. Monsters Inc.
35. Circle of Friends
36. Mary Poppins*
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump*
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen
47. Fierce Creatures
48. Dude, Where's My Car?
49. Ladyhawke
50. Ghostbusters
51. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade*
52. Back to the Future
53. An Affair To Remember
54. Somewhere In Time
55. North By Northwest
56. Mouline Rouge*
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
58. The Wizard of Oz
59. Zoolander
60. A Walk to Remember
61. Chicago
62. Vanilla Sky
63. The Sweetest Thing
64. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead
65. The Nightmare Before Christmas*
66. Chasing Amy
67. Edward Scissorhands*
68. Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert
69. Muriel's Wedding
70. Croupier
71. Blade Runner
72. Cruel Intentions
73. Ocean's Eleven
74. Magnolia
75. Fight Club*
76. The Beauty and the Beast
77. Much Ado About Nothing
78. Dirty Dancing
79. Gladiator
80. Ever After
81. Braveheart
82. What Lies Beneath
83. Regarding Henry
84. The Dark Crystal
85. Star Wars*
86. The Birds
87. Beaches
88. Cujo
89. Maid In Manhattan
90. Labyrinth
91. Thoroughly Modern Millie
92. His Girl Friday
93. Being John Malkovich
94. Run, Lola, Run
95. The Color of Paradise
96. While You Were Sleeping
97. Signs
98. The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)
99. Face/Off
100. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
101. Pulp Fiction
102. Clueless
103. Empire Records
104. Scooby Doo
105. Once Upon a Time In Mexico
106. The Shawshank Redemption
107. Bruce Almighty*
108. Sense and Sensibility
109. Bend it Like Beckham
110. Galaxy Quest
111. Lion King
112. 8 Mile
113. Fried Green Tomatoes
114. A.I. (Artificial intelligence)
115. Sweet November*
116. The Haunted Mansion
117. Brother
118. Dead Poets Society
119. Schindler's List*
120. D & D
121. Clerks
122. Snatch
123. Top Gun
124. O Brother, Where Art Thou?
125. Speed
126. Thirteen
127. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
128. The Ring
129. The Matrix
130. Miracle
131. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
132. Runaway Jury
133. Twister
134. Armageddon
135. Bridget Jones's Diary*
136. Meet the Parents
137. Breakfast at Tiffany's
138. My First Mister
139. Orgazmo
140. Troy
141. Fame
142. City of God
143. Garden State
144. Billy Maddison
145. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
146. Happy Gilmore
147. 28 Days
148. That Thing You Do
149. Boondock Saints
150. Billy Elliott
151. American History X*
152. Four Weddings and a Funeral*
153. Robin Hood: Men in Tights
154. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
155. Lost in Translation
156. Day After Tomorrow
157. The Guardian
158. Life of Brian*
159. Matchstick Men
160. Dawn of the Dead
161. Moonlight Mile
162. The Big Lebowski
163. This Is Spinal Tap
164. The Waterboy
165. Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life
166. The Pursuit of Happyness*
167. Flushed Away
168. Happy Feet
169. Full Metal Jacket
170. The Producers
171. Annie
172. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
173. Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
174. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
175. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (2005)*
176. Election
177. Truly Madly Deeply
178. Once Were Warriors
179. Alexander
180. The Breakfast Club
181. How to Kill Your Neighbor’s Dog
182. Captain Blood
183. Zorro: The Gay Blade
184. Serenity
185. Almost Famous
186. Finding Neverland
187. Interview With the Vampire
188. Miracle Mile
189. Zerophilia
190. Ice Age 2*
191. Pan's Labyrinth*
192. Evening*


Looks like I have some classical movies that I need to see. Well, all in good time, reading is much more fun and I have more books that need to be read than I have movies that need to be seen.
 

Wow, this is one of those questions that are absolutely impossible to give just one answer to. Honestly, who doesn't think they have more than one flaw? I think it's humanly impossible to not see just a tad bit more flaws in oneself than others see in you. Apperance wise at least. I know that I'll probably never be completely content with my apperance(my skin just to mention one thing), but at the same time I feel rather comfortable with myself as a person.
It took me three years of high school(or the Swedish equivalent of high school which is only three years long) to grow out of being a girl and into being a woman, both apearance wise and mentally. I found new friends that complemented me and that way I was allowed to grow into my own person and feel comfortable doing so. Those three years made me realize that I don't have to be beautiful on the outside to like myself, all I need is to feel beautiful on the inside. And I do, well, I at least feel very comfortable being the me I've grown into these past three years.

While I really do feel comfortable and confident in being me I, as everyone, have my weaknessess. Weaknessess that I do not like too much. Such as being extremely shy around new people. I can be loud and take up a lot of space when I am around close friends and family. I am rather touchy-feely with my close friends and I love hugs and cuddles, I really do. Which is part of the reason I've been feeling so lonely since I started College. All my old friends have either moved away or didn't start at the same College as me and I have barely seen them in months, and starting College meant that I had to move away from home to avoid commuting for 4h a day. 
All this have resulted in me having to find new friends to spend time with, and this is itself has been rather hard with me being so shy. So even though I have found new friends to joke and laugh with I do not feel comfortable enough around them to be myself yet, let alone be as affectionate as I've become used to being during the past three years. So what this long ramble about me being shy leads up to is this: without physical intimacy such as hugs I start to feel extremely lonely and insecure, and this only makes me miss my old friends even more.

As for what I actually do like about myself, there are a few things. I actually enjoy being a bit of a loner sometimes, gives me time to daydream and make up stories; to use my imagination the way I love to use it. I am rather pleased with the fact that I am a fairly good writer. I'm not bragging, I hate when people brag. I just really love to write and when my teacher said that the only reason I got an A in Swedish was because I had a talent for writing fiction that particular reason for getting an A made me very happy. I usually like to think that I am a very caring person, but I have come to realise that this might be because I enjoy physical intimacy so much that I love to make people feel better with hugs and comforting words. 
If forced to chose a physical characteristic that I like I would have to pick my eyes, cliché, I know. The eyes are one of the things you're supposed to say I guess, but I really do like my eyes best. I have really typical blue Swedish eyes, with a tiny hint of grey and a dark blue rim to the iris. It's the only bodypart I've ever gotten a compliment for, well that and my legs, but I'm pretty sure the one about my legs was a joke because I can't see anything special about my legs.

Well, this is where I am expected to write a good ending, summarising what I just rambled on about for three paragraphs but I don not have a good ending for this other than the fact that everyone has weak spots and flaws, you just have to chose to see the good parts instead of the bad to feel good about yourself.

Ta!

I started university two days ago and the passed two days have been all fun and games to try to get to know the 150 new classmates I have. But trying to get to know 150 people is overwhelming and I've felt myself ending up in a click that I fear I will stay with for the next three years of my life. It is just like when I started high school, only it's completely different. Back when I started high school I fell into a click of people that I could somehow connect to and who helped me find myself. Now, three years later, I am once again falling into a click. This time, however, I have already found myself and am very content with what I've found and the click I am falling into is not one I feel comfortable with. I feel out of place. Like these people and I have nothing whatsoever in common. Not like with my friends back at home. They are me, they know me. And I miss them so fucking much.

Moving away from home and starting university was something I was looking forward to. Meeting new people was one of the things I looked forward to the most. Not because I don't like my friends back home, but because I wanted people I could connect to on a level that I can't connect to my friends back at home. I had this picture in my head of who these people would be and the ones I've found has nothing in common with what I expected. They are not like me at all, and especially not in the way I wanted them to be.
I am a lesbian, you see, and back home I don't know anyone who's homo- or bisexual. I was hoping to meet someone when starting university that was; male or female didn't really matter because I just wanted someone to relate to. Because no-matter how much I love my friends back home, they can never really understand that part of me. They don't mind, they are more supportive than most people would be, constantly pushing me to stop being shy and meet some nice girl. They joke about it with me a lot, not in a way that makes me feel bad or unwanted, but I always know that they will never really know what it feels like. 

So after spending only three days in a completely alien environment with people I can't feel any kind of connection to, I am feeling more lonely than I've ever felt. Wishing to once again feel safe and loved by my friends and not having to worry about making a connection.

Metallica and HIM: 12th of July 2007

First of all, I wrote this entery earlier this afternoon but somehow I managed to delete it. After that I was too pissed to write it all over again but I'm going to go to bed soon so I figured I'd write it again.

Well, I got back from Stockholm today and after sitting on a train for five bloody hours I decided to never take one of those intercity trains again. The one I took to Stockholm on Thursday only took three hours because it didn't stop in every fucking town. Anyway, when I finally got to Gothenburg I took a commuter train to the small town where I live only to switch to a bus that would take me home. What happens? The bus crashes. Yep, it really did. I decided that the bus driver must have been blind because even I who weren't paying attention saw the car that was driving in the roundabout, and obviously he didn't because he ran straigh into it. My back and neck are still a bit sore but I hope it'll be gone by tomorrow.

But my trip was all worth it because last night (the 12th) I got to see Metallica live. Not only that but the supporting act were none other than HIM, my favourite band. The night turned out to be amazing even if it had been pouring down most of the day. When we walked to the show it had stopped raining and by the time HIM made their way onstage the sun was once again shining and the sky was light blue.

Metallica were amazing. There's no other way to say it, they kicked ass onstage. They played many of their famous songs and they were all great preformances. Unforgiven, Nothing else matters, Master of puppets, the Memory remains, One, just to mention a few. And then they finished off with a brilliant preformance of Seek and Destroy with fireworks both onstage and above it.

HIM were also great, first time I saw them live, but definitely not the last. Ville's voice was gorgeous as always and Lily's dreads were longer than ever. They did three songs from their new album: Dead lover's lane(which if my memory is not completely messed up was the first song they did), Passion's killing floor and a third song that I don't know the title of. After hearing only these three songs I am already so in love with their new album that I am willing to say that it is the best they've done so far. Beside their new songs they also did: Wicked game, Vampire heart, Right here in my arms, It's all tears(drown in this love), Rip out the wings of a butterfly, Your sweet 666, Soul on fire and Buried alive by love.

I took a few pictures but they are all blurry and too far away. I didn't stand so close to the stage, unfortunately, and the zoom on my camera sucks. Here they are anyway.

HIM:






Metallica:








Well, it's four o'clock in the morning so I should probably be getting to bed now. hope you enjoyed hearing about my little trip to see Metallica.

ttfn,
Malin